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Without that sense of identity, it is all but impossible to form balanced, healthy connections with other people.

Therapy and aftercare support go a long way in restoring bridges that were burned by the addiction, but dating requires much more work (and time) than simply rekindling a friendship.

tells the story of a eight-year-sober 33-year old man who, on the advice of his AA sponsor, “religiously avoided dating” for six months.

A substance abuse problem changes the way a person looks at the world, and treatment does much the same thing.

A lot can change due to drug and alcohol addiction, and successful rehabilitation entails rebuilding a person’s life.

The sex coach told that in order to start a romantic or sexual relationship, those in recovery have to spend a lot of guided time getting to know themselves, especially who they are when they don’t have a drink in their hand and when the object of their affection is not the kind of person they would have been interested in during their drinking days.

Such realizations and insights don’t come overnight, and they don’t come in a matter of weeks (or even months).

This is more difficult, but it is the only way to be loved. I'm currently in month 10 and my wife has asked for a separation.

She says that she has grown apart from me and that she now thinks she got married too early and to the wrong person.

But his first forays into sober dating were disastrous; he dated “messed up speed freaks” for five years, eventually coming to understand that even without a drink or drug in his hand, the lure of spending time with people who were on drugs themselves was attractive – even, to use his words, “sexy.” Top of Page Why is the pull so strong?

As any person going through recovery will say, being sober can be incredibly difficult.

Hence, the rule of thumb that people in recovery not date for the first year of their sobriety.

The 33-year-old man who studiously stayed away from dating for the first six months re-entered the relationship scene as a fully committed and engaged member of his treatment program.

Comments Dating recovery