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Rules women internet dating
Any communication you make independently of that is an initiation of contact that would never have happened were it left up to him.This, the authors argue, is what means women are disappointed again and again by men who are perfectly happy to accept your advances (and all the, ahem, perks they might bring), but who won't follow through with a second date or who can't commit."The Rules are about boundaries and self-esteem," says Schneider.
Much of it makes sense – "Don't answer texts or anything else after midnight"; "Don't get wasted on dates"; "Don't relocate because of a guy" – while many chapters, such as "Don't talk too much in the first few weeks", might make the modern woman recoil.
The central premise of the Rules is that if a man likes you, he will approach you.
Do you have any online dating safety tip for yourself?
Have you ever thought that you need to learn safety tips and rules from other people who have experienced from dating online for many years?
"That is not repressive: that is called self-control and smart, effective behaviour.""We are feminists," adds Fein. We say go ahead and run a marathon and buy a condo and start a new business, just don't chase guys.
It's not good or bad, it just doesn't work."Such is the crisis that constant contact has caused in our consciousness that Fein and Schneider have also created a chart in the new book that will tell you how long to wait before you text a man back (hint: the lag period increases, the older and supposedly wiser you are, and leave at least four hours before replying to man's initial text, whatever your age)."Don't text him back immediately… Never double text," they suggest."If you want more from a guy, give less."It's good advice, written in the vein of now-famous post-Rules guides Why Men Love Bitches and He's Just Not That Into You; each is predicated on creating an epiphany moment in women, when they suddenly understand what it is that men want or need from them.The New Rules: The dating dos and don'ts for the digital generation, (£9.99, Piatkus) published this month, offers their signature sagacious take on the grey area where sex and cyberspace intersect.And it's an important subject to address, given the de-mystification of internet dating and the rise of outlandish digital phenomena such as "sexting".I'm regularly grateful to have been one of the last generations of teenagers who didn't have to worry about social media when it came to college crushes, but even I remember days spent staring at a mobile phone that refused to beep.I have never been a "Rules girl" (that's right, they're a tribe – Blake Lively and Beyoncé are both rumoured to have tried them, on Leonardo Di Caprio and Jay Z respectively).You do not share your personal phone numbers, real name,place of work,home address, email address or anything relating to your identifying information while emailing until you can establish a reasonable level of belief with the person you want to date.In addition, you should not post your personal contact information in your online dating profile or username.Fein and Schneider have even enlisted the help of their teenage daughters, to add their own take on romance in an over-connected era."These days, it doesn't matter whether a guy calls, texts or emails to ask you out," goes one of their hymeneal homilies, "as long as he asks you right." "Technology is great," continues Schneider. But it's the overuse of technology that is the problem. They're addicted to answering guys back in nanoseconds and they're not getting dates.They're getting more texts and Facebook messages and no dates.""They're writing on guys' walls, friending their cousins and scaring them away," adds Fein."They're posting so many mundane status updates that they come across as the opposite of mysterious.A Rules girl is busy and disappears between dates."To help you maintain a more elusive online presence, The New Rules outlines a "blackout period" between 6pm on a Friday and 6pm on a Sunday, during which time no texting, messaging, email or social media updates are allowed.